A little wisdom can go a long way…

The Enneagram is a powerful tool for self-understanding, healing, and even growth during times of change, loss & mourning. We are whoever we are in the good times, and in the bad. How we live and love is often reflected in how we grieve.  And it’s true that, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle

When it’s really tough and we are pushed to a limit, we may like parts of ourselves that we see emerging, like resilience, compassion, courage, or ability to find beauty. Our essence, a glimpse of our truest nature, shines through the suffering of loss. Simultaneously, when we are stressed, our coping patterns often become even more apparent. Habits, qualities and traits we may not like as much will show up to help us survive.

During these trials of the heart, it’s of the utmost importance to observe ourselves with some objectivity and self-compassion.

The following messages of support to each Enneatype are brief and simplified. The Enneagram system, like grief, is very complex, but perhaps these are a good place to start. I hope someone finds comfort in these concepts: 

Ennetype One:  Grief is messy and that’s okay. It’s not your fault. You’re doing the best you can. 

Ennetype Two: Grief is normal and natural. Let others know how you feel and what you need.  It’s okay to let them help you.

Enneatype Three:  Grief is not something to fix. It’s alright to just be, not do. It’s okay to take some time off. 

Enneatype Four: You feel pain so deeply. It’s helpful to schedule breaks from feeling and expressing it. The pain is not who you are. You are not alone.

Enneatype Five: Grief feelings are in the body. It’s okay to let yourself go there by pausing & breathing. You’re safe to feel. 

Enneatype Six: It’s common to worry about what could have been different and what else could go wrong. It’s okay to get support and to focus on yourself and your healing, right here & right now. 

Enneatype Seven: However difficult, remember that it’s natural to feel this & you won’t feel THIS way forever, but avoiding grief doesn’t change reality. It’s good to take a moment to check in with yourself, and with what happened. 

Enneatype Eight: Grieving is hard, and it’s okay to not power through. You’re not expected to have all the answers or to be strong for anybody. It’s okay to take space, and when you are ready, to confide in your inner circle of trusted people.  

Enneatype Nine: Even though your grief may be overwhelming, see if you can tolerate it without numbing yourself. It’s helpful to lean into the feelings and to not worry about bothering anyone, because you’re stronger than you think.

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